So I was with a client and she said she shared with her friend about the Tantra Festival I was presenting at.
“Oh that’s about sex and stuff” said her friend.
So for a large percent of the population Tantra is about “sex and stuff”.
Well I am here to share with you my own personal account of having attended and presented at two Tantra festivals this summer so far (Canadian Tantra Festival in the Shuswap BC and The Heart of Tantra Festival in Squamish BC), so you can decide for yourself what Tantra Festivals are all about!
For many people Tantra festivals are a safe container for healing and connection. That is what they are for me too. I’ve been on a Tantric path for almost twenty years!! So I have explored a lot of healing already but there is always more….
Waking up at 7:30 for a yoga class is not everyone’s cup of tea, but for me and many others it is! Getting the body warmed up and prepared for energy work and activities is a must. There will always be yoga and or Qigong first thing in the morning at a Tantra festival. Maybe even a dance class… and then some spontaneous group dance party after breakfast. So far “I love my life ;)” this is awesome!
So here is a bunch of “strangers”. Mom and Dad always said don’t talk to strangers. This is an interesting concept from my perspective now because while we wanting to keep our children safe is valid, we have also been setting ourselves up for isolation and loneliness. So many people feel lonely when they are surrounded by people all the time. Hum…something is wrong here. OK, so here I am with a bunch of strangers….what next?
Sharing our names and setting our intentions. Why have you come? Our intentions are a powerful thing and so is showing up without expectations!! For me it is about learning, widening the capacity for love in my heart and the circle of my human family. When I meet new people and find out what their special gift is I can see how they play an invaluable part of our larger community. I feel we should always seek to know those around us. You never know when you are going to need someone’s help! Isn’t that what we are all here for? When we meet in circle we also see that we are human, we have struggles and so does everybody else. This alone cuts down feelings of isolation and begins to build compassion for ourselves and others. We begin to realize that we are never alone.
When a strong container is created by facilitators for people to have their experience, we learn how to create a stronger container for ourselves, to witness our self, with acceptance and compassion through all of our ups and downs. We learn how to love our self, to be present in relationships, how to listen to another person so they can bee seen and felt. This is an amazing feeling. I always need this no matter how much work I have done on my self, we all need this! Knowing that others love and care for us (even a stranger) is a HUMAN NEED. Just like air and water and food. We did many personal journeys but even more journeys with partners. We are guided to hold space, be present and witness another person going through their experience, we get to practice being LOVE in action. And we turn from strangers to heart-held, heart-felt friends…
Notice there is no sex yet?
I feel we are touch deprived in our culture and I feel that so much hyper-sexualization comes about because of taboo around touch. Learning about consent and boundaries through touch is huge. That is why there are often workshop based on touch. Being able to say or even encouraged to say “NO” to what you don’t want and “YES” to what you want. Then learning to touch and ask for touch in different ways. What I really enjoyed when I first started this work waaay back was checking in to my feelings and learning to say NO when something seemed uncomfortable. NOW that I am more comfortable with my boundaries, I enjoyed aaall the touch workshops that let me follow my impulses and experiment with sensation.
“5 Element Touch” by Naomi Prema Devi gave me lots of ideas of various touch to play with as did “BDSM for Hippies” by Philippe Lewis (he explored the wilder side of touch, scratching biting, nibbling, slapping). I asked if I could sink my claws into his chest like an animal! Some people said yes! I got to ask for something that would feel good to me like a back or shoulder massage. I also enjoy just stroking with a feather light touch another person’s arm or back and observe them enjoying the touch and feeling nurtured. We got to feel what it is like to give and receive and practice asking for touch specifically the way we want it. We produce oxytocin, the good feeling chemicals when we are touched in a way that feels good to us. These skills transfer so well to intimate relationships, it can really spark the creative fire of a relationship, bring new playful, enjoyable experiences and a new approach to touch and intimacy.
Tantra often contains ancient wisdom and technology for practising evolution. Tantra practices are after all about self-evolution and appreciating the sacredness of life, in everything, including the body, and in every moment. There are so many traditions of Tantra and in these workshops we get to learn from different ancient, wisdom paths. There are breathing workshops, workshops about sexual energy circulation (which I taught), workshops about connecting to the divine masculine and feminine within and many more.
When I was at the Canadian Tantra festival I had a profound experience with Amanda Ings who beautifully transmitted an Indian lineage of Tantra. We began with meditation, focusing first on the curls of smoke from incense which pervaded the open air studio. She lead us deep into internal visualizations in the heart, the emission of Shiva as a point in my heart evoked a huge energetic opening! She lead us into the root chakra and more visualizations and undulating, rocking movements there to awaken the sexual energy. Her skill and mastery at guiding us was flawless. We began to tune into the Shiva and Shakti energies (masculine and feminine) with our own body and united them. All movements began happening purely spontaneously, coming through the body. The body was moving ME, the dance of Shiva and Shakti took over my form and flowed through me in such beautiful ways, that held meaning for me in my own life. I must have been in tears and in awe at several points of this internal dance. We stood up and the story and dance took me into a connection of the cosmic flow of these two forces, the Shakti moon moving the oceans, and the fire and vigour of Shiva! We danced solo for a long time, time enough to soak up all of these cosmic forces through our own dance, and then we danced with a partner, taking turns expressing the Shiva and Shakti forces. THIS was one of the most amazing workshops, I am sooooo greatful to have felt this power flowing through me and nourishing me! Wow.
Men you may get rated on your ability to be present!! This is a good thing, trust me. Wouldn’t you want to hear honestly how women perceive your ability to hold space and stand in your masculine? This is very important for women to feel. Just having someone listen and not offer to fix or change anything but just listen is what a lot of women need to feel seen and heard. We got to roam around the room and rate men’s presence as they stood still and also give them suggestions as to how they could show up as more present. Conversely women were also given feedback by the men, what was shining through about them, how they perceived us in our feminine flow, in our sensuality, in our body as we danced around the room. There was a lot of great honest feedback in this exercise lead by Krista Novakowski. One thing that surprised me is I learned that I am innocent, and child-like in my intense curiosity. One thing that didn’t surprise me is how important eye contact is in connection, how it makes us feel safe, seen and held by the other.
Men had a special talk by Jaques Drouin from the perspective of Tibetan Tantra and his information was unique but also very similar to Taoist teaching of which I am an instructor. I was glad he spoke of orgasm and the power in men’s semen and how important it is to conserve it for health. Men learning to orgasm and be multi orgasmic with out ejaculating was a topic that I am go greatful he touched on. Most men don’t know these secrets and don’t understand why it is practised, so he shed some light on this. I could be a cheerleader for the cause…!
I honestly could go on, but hopefully you get an idea of why Tantra can play an important role in your own self development and in your relationships. I highly recommend coming next year!